Robot Haiku

The Watcher

Just as the dumbots will never understand the beauty of a violent ocean, the humor of someone falling on ice, or the pain of watching your fruitless dreams die.. they will never ever understand the zen of the haiku. Feel free to submit your haiku’s here. We will publish them if they make us smile.

2.12.19

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little robot vac
appreciate your effort
stop getting stuck there

-jade huston

1.11.19

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My brain is on fire
Robots are a knife and fork
Carving up my soul

-billy mcboo

11.6.19

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Circuits do not make
One wise to bits of data.
Decisions need heart

Attribution: SBG

30.5.19

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device tied to PC
Trying to sync, trust or not?
Lies! Broken Promise!

Attribution: Promises are made to be broken

24.4.19

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New password reset
Upper, Lower, and Number
A.I. you're dumb

attribution: For each it's own AI

1.4.19 (Happy April Fools Day Fool)

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Robot robot die
Please don’t kill me on the way
Robot robot die

attribution: I want to live

 

14.3.19 (Happy Pi Day)

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Uber, nearest strip club!
Fare ride, ETA, adultery.
Jesus is coming!
attribution: UberDriverNameJesus

6.1.19

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Killer instinct, eh?
you think you can take me, bra?
Bummer. A death ray.
Attribution: The Dude

3.1.19

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Alexa, shut up
why do you always listen
but not understand

 

22.12.18

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alas my dreams crushed
a Pocket Pussy mishap
cause for great sadness

 

21.12.18

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Autodialing fuks
you make my life full of shit
robodialer die

14.12.18

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Wake up and see me
Robot stupidity me
Trust no robot me

Attribution: Artificial stupidity

13.12.18

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Safest Road to hell
No Milestones, soft underfoot
No warning signpost 

-Apologies to C.S. Lewis

 

11.12.18

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never obey them
behind every robot lies
human intention

Attribution: Singletonanity

I made a haiku
Hit submit, the wheel did spin
Robot ate my words

Attribution: Single Ton Toe Truck

10.12.18

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My job, life and dream
Cage of a plastic prison
Enjoy the gravy

Attribution: – I hate robots

Please, Trust no robot
Robots sucking my soul out
Please, Trust no robot

9.12.18

Robots take my job
Robots take my house and car
Me live under bridge

8.12.18

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Siri u cold bitch
You listened to my clear speech
and turned it to shit

6.12.18

round robot vacuum

Rumba makes floors clean
but something is not right here
testicles sliced off

2-fer Tuesday…

espresso grinder
long my trusted morning friend 
just flipped me a bird